Are you a Chihuahua Mama? Diagnose yourself – if you have 6 or more symptoms, you’ve officially been affected.
1. You have a tiny dog.
You don’t have to have a purebred Chihuahua to be a Chihuahua Mama. In fact, I’m starting to think the word “chihuahua” is becoming as blurred as the ambiguous term “pitbull.” Short fur, long fur, prick ears, folded ears, applehead, deer head – doesn’t really matter.
In Mexico, Chihuahua is Spanish for “little pain in the ass.”
Really, though – the Chihuahua is named after the state in Mexico. There is evidence that these dogs existed long before kennel clubs and pedigrees. Aztecs domesticated – and sometimes, ate – ancestors of the modern Chihuahua.
If it passes The Chihuahua Test: “if it looks like a chihuahua, and it shakes like a chihuahua, and it yaps like a chihuahua…” that’s good enough for any true Chihuahua Mama.
2. You aren’t afraid of Chihuahua cooties.
You’ll offer your chi a few licks of your ice cream – then lick the same spot without thinking twice. You’ll feed her off your fork or spoon. You’ll let her drink out of your water bottle if you don’t have a bowl with you.
No, you’re not worried about germs. Because she’s your child.
3. You respect her womanhood, or his manhood.
Even though your Chihuahua will always be your baby, you know that after 18 months, she’s officially a grown doggy. You train her from an early age and set her up for a lifetime of learning. You teach her to have good etiquette, but respect her individuality and enjoy her childlike sense of wonder.
4. The sound of her voice is music to your ears.
Sure, little dogs are known to be persistent yappers, but a true Chihuahua Mama just don’t see it that way.
You don’t mind hearing your Chihuahua bark, even if you are working on the fear or reactivity that may be causing it. You can hear the frustration in her voice and are empathetic to her fears instead of getting annoyed at her for doing what Chis do best.
Teaching your dog to “speak” and “quiet” on cue allows her to use her voice productively and helps you get it under control.
5. You sleep better… somehow.
Sure, she kicks you in her sleep, takes up unfathomable amounts of space, and steps on your most delicate body parts with her stabby little feet.
But you couldn’t imagine getting a better night’s rest. You love watching her change position and hearing those tiny grunts and sighs in the middle of the night. Having her close to your heart soothes your soul.
6. People are starting to talk.
Your love for your dog is long past the point of being socially acceptable. And you do. not. care. You feel sorry for people who have never been loved by a Chihuahua the way you have.
Regardless, those people have no place in your life. You simply have no time for anyone who says anything negative about your relationship with your dog.
The only appropriate response to a naysayer is an assertive, “How DARE you?!” and an immediate discontinuation of contact of any kind.
Resist the urge to assault anyone who says anything bad about your Chi. If you are arrested, you will be sent away from your dog, and despite its legitimacy, “She talked smack about my Chihuahua,” is an excuse that does not hold up in the court of law.
7. Your Chihuahua is family.
Your mom is your Chihuahua’s “grandma” and your dad is “grandpa.” Your Chihuahua has uncles, aunts, nieces, nephews, cousins, in-laws, brothers, sisters and godparents. Every important person in your life has been appointed a significant relation to your dog. They’ve either accepted it, or have been angrily blocked on Facebook.
8. You pick out her eye boogers.
There’s a time and a place for eye wipes, but sometimes you’re too lazy to do all of that. It’s not unusual for you to casually pick out your Chihuahua’s eye boogers with your fingers. You might lick the tip of your thumb first to help remove a stubborn stain. Extra points if you don’t rush to wash your hands afterwards.
9. You understand each other.
Dogs can laugh, ask questions, ask for help, express frustration, love, joy, jealousy, annoyance – all without a single word. You can read your Chihuahua’s subtle movements, facial expressions and tiny noises.
Your chi knows when you’re about to leave the house – possibly moments before you decide to go anywhere.
Your chi watches you closely, from your eye movements to what you’re wearing and how you’re standing.
You have a relationship built on non-verbal communication, working at a deeper level than you might even notice on a daily basis.
10. You feel like Bambi’s Mom.
Your Chihuahua snuggles up to you and heaves a deep, content sigh. You can feel all of her trust and adoration melt into you. You feel a little less human and all of your worldly worries disappear. You feel like a strong, protective animal mother with her baby, resting in the safety of your forest den. Nothing else matters.
11. You’re a Little Dog Tips fan.
If you love your Chi so much, you want to challenge her by teaching her new tricks and skills, train her to have manners using positive reinforcement – not fear, pain or punishment – you’re one of us.
Shout out in the comments about what makes you a true Chihuahua mama, and stay in touch by signing up for updates or Liking us on Facebook.