Are you guilty of treating your dog like a baby? Are you thinking of taking it down a notch, but not sure what’s acceptable and what’s not?
Some people say the only way to treat a dog like a dog is to scare, pinch and jab them. If you’re like millions of pet owners and certified dog trainers who are refusing to depend on punishment-based training, you might as well be treating your dog like a child. A happy child, who is never yelled at or spanked, of course.
Others draw the line at closetfuls of tiny outfits, body-hugging doggy slings, and elaborate doggy lullabies. Millennial women are having dogs instead of babies, and children are accepting canines as their siblings.
Dog babies are the new norm. They’re here to stay.
However, if you’re a dog baby-mama, you do need to have some boundaries.
Don’t ask me how I know, but there are 5 things that you certainly, definitely should stop doing:
#1. Avoid breastfeeding your dog.
Also, refrain from using a breast pump. Bottle-feeding is not appropriate either.
But definitely don’t breastfeed your dog.
You will get kicked out of Walmart, and you will have to drive across town to get your nursing bras. Feed your dog kibble or an appropriate, well-researched raw diet.
#2. Don’t start a college fund for your dog.
Dogs can learn to read, and they can even graduate as honorary class members – but face it, your dog is not going to make any significant progress in a human school, even if you write a strongly-worded letter of recommendation to every dean in the country. Instead of saving tens of thousands of dollars for your dog to attend university, think about your own future. And let your dog be a dog.
#3. Don’t have a baby shower a few weeks before you plan to bring your new puppy home.
It could cause some confusion. People expect baby showers to be about human babies. You might make your Puerto Rican grandmother cry in front of everyone, and your best friend will flip the table, spilling ice cream cake and pig ears all over the floor.
#4. Don’t bring your dog to a Mommy and Me yoga class.
They’re only meant for new mothers of small human children and babies. Even if you’re able to get through the warm-ups, you’ll be forcibly removed when your chihuahua mix “causes a distraction” by “licking the other students.” Definitely, definitely don’t scream “I know our rights!” while security drags you out of the building.
#5. Don’t ask your dog questions only to answer for her in a squeaky voice.
Nobody’s falling for that. Your dog cannot talk, and if she could, she certainly wouldn’t have such a ridiculous little voice. Well… actually… carry on with this one. It’s always hilarious.
Source: Imgur If you’re not doing any of these 5 things, treat your dog like a baby all you want – and don’t let anyone tell you nothin’!
If you’re making an effort to avoid these 5 deadly sins of treating your dog like a baby, you’re on the right track. If you’re keeping your dog safe, comfortable and healthy, making sure she gets plenty of exercise and teaching her good manners, you’re a good dog owner.
You can love your dog like you would a child if you choose. You can call her your fur-child, fur-baby, or any variation of that. You can dress her up in clothes (even clothes that match yours), buy her lots of toys and bring her to dog-friendly outings. Nobody has any right to judge you. Nobody is in charge of how much you are allowed to love your dog.
So, carry on, crazy dog moms – keep doing what you do.
I enjoyed this. Could’ve used more gifs. Never hurts to Buzzfeed it up. Also, I think the ordered list tag got messed up maybe?
I think you’re right on both notes Juan. I got a little traumatized yesterday after googling for images of “dog breastfeeding” LOL – there’s actually a lot of scary stuff in google images on that. I might add some cool GIFs if I can find anything that fits!
Hilarious! Yes, if you are breastfeeding your dog you should stop RIGHT NOW! Thanks for the laugh, I needed it today!
Gee thanks Amanda! 😛
Some things people do “for their dogs” are right down ridiculous. And the sad part is, they are not doing them for the dogs but for themselves. Does a dog need a diamond collar or frilly bed? Or princess dress? Nope.
Love should be shown in a way it can be appreciated but the recipient.
If someone wants to get their dog a diamond collar or a princess dress, good for them! A dog might not know her dress is pretty, but if her owner is happy, she’ll probably be happy too. No reason to judge that!
I love my dogs and do call them by babies. They are treated extremely well, given tons of love and attention and have all of their needs provided for. All of my dogs are rescues and I intend on providing them with the best life I can. With that said I am a responsible pet parent. Our dogs travel with us 24/7, go to work with us and live with us. They are well mannered, have boundaries and are rewarded with treats, time and attention daily.
That’s all your dogs could ever need or want, sounds like you have a great pet family! <3
LOL! Hilarious post! 😀 I thought this was going to be a whole different post and I’m so glad it was the humorous kind! I’m a crazy dog mom and not afraid to admit it! 😀
🙂 Haha, I figure any good dog mama would be a little taken aback by my headline, lol!
Such a great post and lots of good information! 🙂
Thanks for making me laugh – the thought of breast-feeding the cats scares me, they have very sharp teeth and claws. Ouch!
Pawesome Cats recently posted…How to Prepare Your Cat for their First Vet Visit
:)! Puppies are the same, especially at a few weeks old – when Cow had puppies, they would scratch and nip her whole breast area until she bled. I was happy to help take over at that point… in a normal human way of course!
I am speechless about the breastfeeding! Now I do put sweaters and coats on Edie because she is a small dog with short hair and needs the clothing for protection during the cold winter months. I have enough saving for my son’s university tuition, never mind a college fund for my dog! LOL
OMD! Breast feeding?! That’s just crazy…
This totally made me laugh though!
Thanks for the laugh. I am a strong advocate for breastfeeding but I draw the line at pets! LOL!
M. K. Clinton recently posted…Dog Brush Basics
Fun post – and hopefully no one actually breast feeds their dog…. yike-ohs!
MattieDog recently posted…A Walk In The Woods Is Just What The Dog Ordered
Uh, what? I need to believe that #1 is a joke. Please? Pretty please? 🙂 Thanks for the funny post!
Three Chatty Cats recently posted…Erinn – Shelter Photographer
oh man I try so hard not to coddle 🙂
I’m crying over here! Hilarious – though #1 is really disturbing 😉 I love my dogs and Piper (who is a really short-haired dog) does have a coat, and a snood (I made it) but as Janine Garofalo says in The Truth About Cats & Dogs, “We can love our pets, we just can’t LOVE our pets” 😉
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Had to giggle although I am such a Jewish Mama to Layla I would draw the line also on what you wrote. Layla is my fur kid as I chose not to have children, and my Mom bless her calls Layla her grand pup, they Skype together once a week.
Well they do have doga classes these days! The first one is… disturbing.
Yup, that’ll do it. You have my appreciation.
Hilarious! Thank you for this post.
Beth | Daily Dog Tag recently posted…Focus: Lulu, Franny & Darla
Thanks for the laughs! At first I thought you were serious!
Too funny! Truly enjoyed this post!
FiveSibesMom recently posted…Digging Spring! Seasonal Pet Tips & Siberian Husky Memorial Candle Ceremony
Thanks for making me laugh out loud! This is such a clever post, I love it. I’m guilty of having too many articles of clothing for my dogs, but other than that I’m not going overboard…. too much.
Love & Biscuits,
Dogs Luv Us and We Luv Them
Fabulous tips. Especially number 1!
Hahaha! So funny! I actually heard about someone having a “baby shower” for their dog before. That is a little unusual. I would think you would want to have your party after you have the dog so everyone can meet him/her! 🙂
Robin recently posted…Funny Cat Picture: Oooh Yummy!
Have you seen the recent dog maternity photo shoot? Too funny! 🙂
BOL this is so funny and even more so because you totally surprised me with the content!! BTW we just moved to Exeter about 8 months ago, I noticed your from Visalia. 😉
OMD!!! I thought I would be guilty of ‘babying’ but not in these respects – thank goodness. Oh, my word – there are NO WORDS!
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LOL. Great post. Yes, if anyone is doing any of these things, they should stop immediately.
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Very funny post. I, too, started out thinking you were serious!
Ava at Savvy Pet Care recently posted…Feline Chin Acne: Does Your Cat Have It?
great post just a reminder to not get to carried away with how far we will go with our furry family members good laugh thank you.
My two cats are my fur children, but they are treated like the special cats they are.
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Searching for somethings interesting, your website just pops up. Thanks for great sharing.
BTW I build a website about dog too. Hope you guys will like it 😉
Wow! Now that (#1) is taking pet babying to a whole new level! It’s hard not to baby the only living creature that gives you unconditional love… its entire lifetime!
I am such a Jewish Mama to Layla I would draw the line also on what you wrote. Layla is my fur kid as I chose not to have children, and my Mom bless her calls Layla her grand pup, they Skype together once a week